Today’s stuff is nonsense We start today with word of Leighton Baines going to Manchester United .
Today’s stuff is nonsense
We start today with word of Leighton Baines going to Manchester United. Not because it’s a new rumour – it has featured every single day for the last two months, after all – but you knew it was coming at some point, so we might as well get it over and done with. Anyway today’s status is that it’s not on, Everton aren’t having it. With no Rumour Mill published over the weekend, the forecast is that on Saturday it will be on again, and on Sunday it probably won’t be but it might. United are also after the young Peñarol right back Guillermo Varela, who we tag on to the end of this paragraph simply so we don’t have to bold up Manchester United twice. Ah. Basic error, we have indeed bolded up Manchester United tw … oh we’re all over the shop here.
With pantomime villain Luis Suárez leaving Liverpool for Real Madrid or Bayern Munich, those who enjoy posting pompous comments on the bottom half of the internet will need a new stimulant for the froth gland in their mouths. Oh look! Here comes £8m-rated Carlos Tevez!
Having won the League Cup and joined the pantheon of managerial greats such as Alex McLeish, Brian Little, Steve McClaren and Graeme Souness, Michael Laudrup has decided he has done enough at Swansea City. Also annoyed at the club’s unwillingness to spend ready cash on the Sevilla striker Alvaro Negredo or the St Etienne forward Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang, he’ll be packing a couple of sticks of Danish dynamite under the club by swanning off to Real Madrid.
Arsenal are desperate to show that they are moving forward as a club. With this in mind, they are going to put together a £200,000 a week package and £25m bid for 2004′s Wayne Rooney. They are also now in pole position to land Marouane Fellaini, because Everton have clearly had more than enough of being asset stripped by Manchester United, it’s not funny any more.
Stoke City have a “traditional long-ball style”, according to the papers, which may or may not come as a surprise to anyone who saw Stanley Matthews or George Eastham play. Mark Hughes is looking to change that, anyway, and with this in mind his first signings will be Junior Hoilett of QPR and PSV Eindhoven’s left-back Erik Pieters.
And finally, in a story we should probably have led with, now we come to think about it, the Chelsea boss José Mourinho is on the lookout for the Robert Huth de nos jours, and is in for the Napoli striker Edinson Cavani, Zenit St Petersburg’s Hulk, Fiorentina’s Stevan Jovetic and Manchester City’s Edin Dzeko. Yes, all of them.